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My Mind’s Telling Me No

Man to Man

My Mind’s Telling Me No

My Mind’s Telling Me No

Written by: Dean “Blacc Topp” Swift

Kings, lend me your ear…

As a father, I take that title and position very serious, so the thought of something happening to one of my children horrifies me. I suppose that fear runs extra deep for my girls. Not that I don’t worry about my boy (that’s a different article), it’s just at my current age, things seem to be more clearer than ever. You ready for this? Here it is…

My Six Cents

Kings, we have to do better! This is by no means an admonishment because I’m talking to myself as well. I’ll be real with you, the whole R. Kelly situation had me in my feelings because it divided us. It caused some of us to reopen old wounds and some of us to defend what we knew to be true anyway. I’m not here for that though, I’m here because that whole ordeal made me sit back and re-evaluate the path that I’m striking for my girls. I’ve tried –  to the best of my ability – to show them what a man is. I’m also careful with not only who I bring around them, but also what I allow them exposure to. Every day, our children leave our care and go out into a cruel, unforgiving world. A world that is waiting to chew them up and spit them out, unless we’ve prepared them. We must prepare our girls, our young ladies, our women to meet the world head on with the reassurance that if it pops off, we have their backs. I mean let’s keep it 100… we all have or know of that creepy uncle that is not allowed to babysit. You know, always kissing and touching, wanting his nieces and nephews to come sit on his lap? Made you feel uncomfortable just reading it, right? So imagine how that daughter feels whose cries go unheard or prayers go unanswered. Imagine how that woman feels who knows she’s a shoo-in for that promotion, but she can tell if she goes for it, her boss will start the groping or inappropriate gestures. Imagine how that son feels, whose coach watches him just a little too long. These are the things that I think about because until we get uncomfortable and start addressing the issues head-on instead of sweeping bad behavior under the rug, we’ll continue a vicious cycle.


Part of our duties as Kings is to protect and provide, and part of providing protection is by educating our own. If we policed ourselves and then allowed that policing to spread household to household, those responsible for victimizing our daughters would be held accountable. Talking about it and actually getting involved would do wonders towards the healing process, but victim shaming and denying the problem exists, is like putting a band-aid over a bullet hole.

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